Emotion-focused therapy
couples, families, friends
Video conference in Google meets, Telegram, Whatsapp
Couple session - 60 or 90 minutes
One partner session - 45 min
One partner session - 45 min
Relationship therapy’s meaning
EFT therapy is suitable for improving relationships between partners, family members, friends, parents and children. EFT therapy is LGBTQ+ friendly.
Love that creates and gives happiness does not arise by itself. Love is an art that can be mastered with practice. Couple therapy is a space where you and your partner learn to understand each other, open up and build intimacy.
A psychologist with sensitive questions and professional techniques helps to find and revive curiosity about each other, become each other's best friends, restore relationships after betrayal, quarrels, traumas and insults, and fall in love again, getting to know both yourself and your partner more deeply.
Our health, career, parenthood - everything becomes easier with a loved one nearby who loves and hears you. Therefore, investing in relationships is a great contribution to the quality of your life.
Love that creates and gives happiness does not arise by itself. Love is an art that can be mastered with practice. Couple therapy is a space where you and your partner learn to understand each other, open up and build intimacy.
A psychologist with sensitive questions and professional techniques helps to find and revive curiosity about each other, become each other's best friends, restore relationships after betrayal, quarrels, traumas and insults, and fall in love again, getting to know both yourself and your partner more deeply.
Our health, career, parenthood - everything becomes easier with a loved one nearby who loves and hears you. Therefore, investing in relationships is a great contribution to the quality of your life.
Step by step
Therapy process
Step 1. Work terms and schedule
1) Read the terms of my work on this page.
2) If you agree to the terms, sign up for a consultation at the bottom of the page.
Step 2. First 3 sessions
At the beginning of the work, I hold 1 couple meeting with both partners followed by 1 meeting with each partner to gather information about you and your relationship, a little about your childhood. After this the proper therapy starts.
Based on those conversations, we will analyze the general condiqtion:
1) If there is a suspicion of a physical health problem that affects the relationship, I will recommend getting tested by a general practitioner.
2) If there is a suspicion of a clinical disorder (for example, depression), I will recommend contacting a psychiatrist for diagnosis.
3) If both or one of the partners have such a need, I will additionally recommend seeking personal therapy.
Step 3. Request and Goal Setting
1) We will discuss your request for therapy and analyze it together.
2) We will formulate a goal for joint work that satisfies both partners.
Step 4. Reducing the intensity and creating safety
Usually couples come to therapy with a lot of heavy emotional baggage and mutual reproaches. Therefore, most often the first stage of work is creating safety and reducing conflict.
Step 5. Identifying and stopping negative cycles
Often quarrels and conflicts are based on unsafe cycles of interaction between partners. We will discuss your relationship and difficulties, identify negative cycles and change them.
Usually 60-80% of meetings are spent on the fifth step, and by the end of this stage the relationship has already improved significantly, you feel good together again. Some couples stop working at this stage, but the work is not completed yet.
Step 6. Creating Deep Intimacy
After Step 5, you will feel safe in your relationship, which means we will do exercises to develop and strengthen real intimacy.
Step 7. Consolidating Changes
This is the final step to consolidate all the progress of therapy so that the result lasts and pleases you for years to come.
Step 8. Completing Therapy and/or New Goals
After completing the main course of therapy, your relationship will have a solid foundation. And then you can stop therapy or continue it with a new request.
Duration of EFT Therapy
The success and speed of therapy depend on many factors, so it is not always possible to predict the duration. The duration of therapy can be from one meeting to several years. In case of a relationship crisis and conflicts, a course of EFT therapy usually takes at least 3 months with weekly work.
1) Read the terms of my work on this page.
2) If you agree to the terms, sign up for a consultation at the bottom of the page.
Step 2. First 3 sessions
At the beginning of the work, I hold 1 couple meeting with both partners followed by 1 meeting with each partner to gather information about you and your relationship, a little about your childhood. After this the proper therapy starts.
Based on those conversations, we will analyze the general condiqtion:
1) If there is a suspicion of a physical health problem that affects the relationship, I will recommend getting tested by a general practitioner.
2) If there is a suspicion of a clinical disorder (for example, depression), I will recommend contacting a psychiatrist for diagnosis.
3) If both or one of the partners have such a need, I will additionally recommend seeking personal therapy.
Step 3. Request and Goal Setting
1) We will discuss your request for therapy and analyze it together.
2) We will formulate a goal for joint work that satisfies both partners.
Step 4. Reducing the intensity and creating safety
Usually couples come to therapy with a lot of heavy emotional baggage and mutual reproaches. Therefore, most often the first stage of work is creating safety and reducing conflict.
Step 5. Identifying and stopping negative cycles
Often quarrels and conflicts are based on unsafe cycles of interaction between partners. We will discuss your relationship and difficulties, identify negative cycles and change them.
Usually 60-80% of meetings are spent on the fifth step, and by the end of this stage the relationship has already improved significantly, you feel good together again. Some couples stop working at this stage, but the work is not completed yet.
Step 6. Creating Deep Intimacy
After Step 5, you will feel safe in your relationship, which means we will do exercises to develop and strengthen real intimacy.
Step 7. Consolidating Changes
This is the final step to consolidate all the progress of therapy so that the result lasts and pleases you for years to come.
Step 8. Completing Therapy and/or New Goals
After completing the main course of therapy, your relationship will have a solid foundation. And then you can stop therapy or continue it with a new request.
Duration of EFT Therapy
The success and speed of therapy depend on many factors, so it is not always possible to predict the duration. The duration of therapy can be from one meeting to several years. In case of a relationship crisis and conflicts, a course of EFT therapy usually takes at least 3 months with weekly work.
Pre-decision Therapy
To Separate or Stay Together?
If you’re unsure whether to separate or try therapy, a course of Pre-Therapy might be right for you.
Pre-decision Therapy is a structured process for couples who have once committed to being together but have yet to make a final decision about their relationship’s future. Both partners agree to pause any decisions about separation and take time to carefully explore their relationship and possible directions.
The goal of Pre-decision Therapy is to gain clarity and confidence in making an informed decision about the future of your relationship—based on a deeper understanding of what has happened between you and each partner’s contribution to the difficulties.
Possible outcomes after Pre-decision Therapy:
1. The couple remains in the same status;
2. The couple decides to separate;
3. The couple transitions to full couples therapy (minimum six months).
Typically, 47% of couples choose to pursue therapy, 41% decide to separate or divorce, and 12% maintain the status quo.
Benefits of Pre-decision Therapy:
Pre-decision Therapy is not provided if:
Important! Pre-decision Therapy ≠ Couples Therapy
Pre-Therapy (five sessions) is solely aimed at helping you decide about the future of your relationship. It does not improve the relationship itself. For that purpose, couples therapy is required.
Structure of Pre-decision Therapy:
First session — 2 hours:
Subsequent sessions last 1.5 hours and are held weekly.
Pre-Decision Therapy includes no more than five sessions. After that, if you choose to keep working on the relationship, we can transition to full couples therapy.
If you decide to begin couples therapy, both partners agree to commit to the process and refrain from raising the topic of divorce during the first six months. This creates a safe environment for meaningful relationship work.
To Separate or Stay Together?
If you’re unsure whether to separate or try therapy, a course of Pre-Therapy might be right for you.
Pre-decision Therapy is a structured process for couples who have once committed to being together but have yet to make a final decision about their relationship’s future. Both partners agree to pause any decisions about separation and take time to carefully explore their relationship and possible directions.
The goal of Pre-decision Therapy is to gain clarity and confidence in making an informed decision about the future of your relationship—based on a deeper understanding of what has happened between you and each partner’s contribution to the difficulties.
Possible outcomes after Pre-decision Therapy:
1. The couple remains in the same status;
2. The couple decides to separate;
3. The couple transitions to full couples therapy (minimum six months).
Typically, 47% of couples choose to pursue therapy, 41% decide to separate or divorce, and 12% maintain the status quo.
Benefits of Pre-decision Therapy:
- Greater clarity and confidence about relationship decisions.
- Deeper understanding of what happened and each partner’s role in the challenges.
- Insights that can be applied in future relationships or when discussing post-divorce arrangements (e.g., co-parenting).
Pre-decision Therapy is not provided if:
- One partner has already made a firm (100%) decision to separate.
- One partner uses coercion, violence, or blackmail to maintain the relationship.
Important! Pre-decision Therapy ≠ Couples Therapy
Pre-Therapy (five sessions) is solely aimed at helping you decide about the future of your relationship. It does not improve the relationship itself. For that purpose, couples therapy is required.
Structure of Pre-decision Therapy:
First session — 2 hours:
- A joint session (30–40 minutes) with both partners.
- Individual sessions with each partner (30–40 minutes each) while the other leaves the room or call. The therapist does not disclose what was shared individually; it’s up to you to decide what to share with your partner.
- Each partner then has a few minutes to summarize their personal insights for the other. No debates or corrections—just sharing.
- At the end of the session, we decide whether you wish to continue.
Subsequent sessions last 1.5 hours and are held weekly.
- The format is similar: joint discussion, then individual conversations, followed by a brief joint summary.
- After each meeting, we decide whether to schedule another.
Pre-Decision Therapy includes no more than five sessions. After that, if you choose to keep working on the relationship, we can transition to full couples therapy.
If you decide to begin couples therapy, both partners agree to commit to the process and refrain from raising the topic of divorce during the first six months. This creates a safe environment for meaningful relationship work.
Limitations
EFT training that I had assumes that there are no third parties in the relationship. Therefore, I only work with couples where there is no ongoing infidelity and non-monogamy. If you or your partner have a romantic or sexual attachment with third parties, then either you stop it to work with me, or turn to couples therapy with other professionals who were trained in it.
I do work with infidelity injury and restoring connection after cheating, but when it is already in the past.
I do work with infidelity injury and restoring connection after cheating, but when it is already in the past.
EFT is not a suitable method for relationships with persistent violence and abuse.
If you are a victim or perpetrator of violence, you can come to me for individual therapy.
If you are a victim or perpetrator of violence, you can come to me for individual therapy.
If you or your partner are thinking about breaking up, you can go through pre-therapy (up to 5 sessions) to decide: leave everything as is, go through therapy or break up. But if one of the partners has already decided 100% and is sure of their desire to break up, then this is a contraindication.
Terms and conditions
1. Do not skip reading conditions!
2. Reminders, time change and time zones
3. Cancellations and Missed Appointments
I suggest we use the following agreement when it comes to missed sessions and cancellations:
4. Being late to sessions
5. Payment
6. Therapy cost
7. My contacts
Telegram - @VictoriaKesseli
WhatsApp - +358415722741
- My work conditions specified here apply to all of my clients, to anyone booking an appointment with me.
- If you have not read my terms and conditions, they still apply to our work together.
- Any disagreements about refunds or other issues are solved with me directly on the basis of these rules.
2. Reminders, time change and time zones
- I do not send reminders before our appointment. It is your responsibility to set a reminder for yourself to be on time.
- Different countries have different rules of winter/summer time change and different time zones. It is your responsibility to double check time differences, I do not inform each client separately of our time differences or time change.
- In case of uncertainty about appointment time, my country's time take precedence (Finland).
- If you are not certain about our appointment time, please contact me directly to double check.
3. Cancellations and Missed Appointments
I suggest we use the following agreement when it comes to missed sessions and cancellations:
- Both you and I can cancel a session up to 4 hours before it for free.
- If you cancel later, you pay 50% of the cost. If I cancel later, the next appointment is 50% off for you.
- If you miss an appointment without notifying me of the cancellation, you pay 100%. If I miss an appointment without notifying you of the cancellation, the next appointment is free for you.
- These rules apply in all everyday life circumstances, even in case of illness. The only exception are sudden tragic events (for example, sudden hospitalisation, life threatening emergency etc).
4. Being late to sessions
- Both you and I can be late by no more than 10 minutes. If I or you are more than 10 minutes late, the appointment is considered missed. I will not be waiting for you to appear.
- If you are late for an appointment, the appointment is not extended. If I am late for an appointment, the missed time is added to this appointment or to the next one.
- If you have difficulty being on time - please let me know about it in advance, then I will wait longer than 10 minutes. In other cases, I will leave the meeting after 10 minutes.
5. Payment
- For new and irregular clients prepayment is required so that I can know you will come. If you cancel session 4 hours in advance, I'll fully return your prepayment
- To confirm your appointment booking, you need to send a screenshot or payment receipt to me.
- Any commission is paid by the client.
- If you attend regular therapy with me, then each session must be paid for within a week after the meeting.
6. Therapy cost
- The cost of the therapy you start with is assigned to you for 6 months. After that, I can revise the cost of the session, which I inform at least 2 months in advance so that we can discuss the new conditions.
7. My contacts
- You can write to me about cancellation of the meeting, rescheduling, payment and any organizational issues.
- I usually respond within 2 days, sometimes within a week.
Telegram - @VictoriaKesseli
WhatsApp - +358415722741
Price and booking
By booking time, you confirm that you agree to my work conditions.
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Payment methods
- Check your session cost. Check the payment system commission, add it to the cost.
- Transfer your payment by any method specified below.
- Send a proof of payment (screenshot or other document) to my email psychologist.victoria@gmail.com
Receiver: Victoria Kesseli
Account number (IBAN): FI79 3939 0056 3745 23
Transfers to this account can ONLY be made from European Union countries.
Account number (IBAN): FI79 3939 0056 3745 23
Transfers to this account can ONLY be made from European Union countries.
This is my Bitcoin wallet address (BITCOIN / BTC):
bc1q30r07mtrlzhqg88xlvj0tyzr0sewdcluhrpstxdtzwnmx8jwesgqd4aags
You can find an exchanger, for example, at https://www.bestchange.com
Be very careful with the exact amount of transfer, inaccuracies in the numbers can make you lose the money.
Use the current Bitcoin exchange rate for the transfer.
bc1q30r07mtrlzhqg88xlvj0tyzr0sewdcluhrpstxdtzwnmx8jwesgqd4aags
You can find an exchanger, for example, at https://www.bestchange.com
Be very careful with the exact amount of transfer, inaccuracies in the numbers can make you lose the money.
Use the current Bitcoin exchange rate for the transfer.
Victoria Kesseli
Clinical psychologist, EFT couple therapist, SFBT and narrative practitioner
More about my approach, methods and education 